marriages and relationships are in disharmony; the Bible says that where there is no vision, you cannot expect anything good. If in a relationship, there is no vision, no purpose, people don't know why they are there in the first place, you cannot expect anything out of it. God is the author of relationships; that is why it is important to refer back to him because you cannot make the most out of anything unless you relate to the manufacturer. He knows how it should function and he defines the roles you are to play. So for you to have a good relationship, you have to use the manuscripts given to us by the master. And the major reason why many relationships are in trouble is because they are functioning out of the order. God is the very essence of love. We need to come to a point of knowing that people who go into a relationship are two separate individuals. And another problem we have is our expectation for the other person. We expect the person to be this and that and the person expects us to be and that, but we are used to a particular style of life. For the whole period of our life, we grew up in different environments, different families, and we have our backgrounds already. We don't expect other people to change overnight. It is quite difficult. We expect the person to be who we want them to be, forgetting that they have been something else or someone else. While we want to change people, we must realize that they want us to change too. In changing them, we have to change ourselves, work on ourselves and there have to be a middle ground.
Anyone who is hurt in a relationship should not go through that because the only person you should entrust your emotions completely to, is God. He is the only one that can handle your life and not hurt you. You might be committed to making it work, you are trying your best to put it together, but there are certain things you cannot do or are beyond your control and it will be unfair of you to expect your partner to meet all your needs because he or she might fail you and it may not be intentional. Ladies and men get hurt; it is not just one-sided. But you have to make the decision that all women and men are not the same. Even if you have been hurt by 1000 women or men, it cannot be compared to the remaining billions of people around the world. If a rich man worth 5 billion dollars gives out 1000 dollars, it does not make him poor; he is still a billionaire.
People have committed suicide because of this word "love". It is difficult to mend a relationship when there was no purpose. The reason for Christian relationships is to end up marriage, which is what God had in mind. Some people will tell you clearly "we are not going to get married, we are just going to stay and see how it goes, and after all, we are just mates". That is a very wrong thing to say, it shows that there is no element of purpose in that. So I asked myself, "Why do people still keep wasting their time just for fun?" We live in a society where people want to feel belonging. No one wants to be an odd one out. Their classmates, group mates, and other mates of theirs are involved, so they will want to be a part of it too.
Marriage is a kind of partnership; you cannot partner with someone if you are not going the same direction. So when two people partner together to make one thing work, then that one thing must be defined. Storms are bound to come, but how you handle it matters and it is dependent on what you want to achieve at the end of the day.
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