HOME TRAINING AND MORALITY- Is It the Ultimate?

Coming from a home where law and order has been the most important priority made me

a little bit different from my pairs. Not that my pairs did not come from good homes but mine was an enforced way of discipline. It can be likened to a military training from a pragmatic and strict trainer. It made us docile and compliant to all instructions without questions; which was good in a way but it brought out a very high level of timidity in me. Each time I see my friends in school, I keep wondering what gives them so much dauntlessness because I believed that they also had the same training as me. So sometimes I try to be fictitious about being bold so that I could be like them but it never helped, because for every little tease I get from them, I blanch back. It was not easy for me most especially at times when I needed something and I could not ask because of the fear of making the person feel offended or angry. Sometimes I end up being a wet blanket in the midst of exciting moments. The funny thing is my younger siblings were not influenced. They all had happy growing days.

Being the first child, a lot of responsibilities were expected of me yet I did not know how to be trained without getting my emotions involved. But when I got into the tertiary institution when I was no longer under any parent or guardian, I knew that I had to brace up and face life differently. When I saw other students like me who came to study; people from different background

with different characters all trying to be a part of something, I felt that I had to become bold for people not to take advantage of me. But still it was not as simple as I thought. I started wishing I could be like others, go out like them, dress like them, laugh and smile like them so that I could be noticed. This caused me to make wrong decisions because I could not say NO. These decisions took away my self-esteem totally but God helped me to get out of it. I finally realized how special I am in the eyes of God and how much His love envelopes me. He is my best friend and everything. Life is meaningless without him. I am confident in Him.

I am a better person with the upbringing I had because it built good morals and discipline in me to live an everyday principled and modest life coupled with being a Christian. "In a wicked and wild world like this, one might need such type of training growing up, so that when you meet bad people out there and you are influenced and changed due to interactions, you will still have a little of morals left"; so I analyzed. But it is not true.

The conclusion of it all is God is our confidence and you are not a Christian without Christ. Morals or not!